It’s Time to Take Responsibility for Your Life?!

ISSUE 162 ISSN 1712-468

There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction. The moment you are old enough to take the wheel, the responsibility lies with you.

From the 2008 Harvard Commencement Address
by J. K. Rowling,
Author of the Harry Potter Series

You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.

Abraham Lincoln, 1809 – 1865
16th President of the USA

This Week’s Inspiration

It’s Time to Take Responsibility for Your Life?!

Responsibility: To be liable and accountable for one’s acts or decisions; answerable
Blame: To find fault with; to hold responsible; to place responsibility for; fault

Why it is that many people want to blame everyone else for their condition or lot in life? Is it possible that that is easier than taking responsibility?

Today’s society would like us to believe that our situation or anything else that keeps us from achieving our wants or desires is someone else’s fault. Of course, deep down we know that is utterly false.

When individuals and organizations blame others for their condition, they are attempting to relinquish any accountability.

In the past, I have mentioned the work of author M. Scott Peck. In The Road Less Traveled, Peck maintains that one of the most difficult psychological conditions to treat is Character Disorderwhere a person truly believes other people are to blame for all of his or her unfortunate situations.

How do you help people who blame everyone and everything and take no personal responsibility? Character Disorder is a sad and pathetic condition.

Before you deny any personal culpability on this topic, let’s check out some current events that reflect this condition.

  • In its ongoing debt saga, Greece does not want to take responsibility for years of living beyond its means. The Greeks recently rioted because of the austere economic measures that must be taken for the country to survive and recover; the public is in denial that they have contributed to their own condition.
  • Last week a study suggested that over 18% of US high school graduates cannot read their graduation diploma; everyone is blaming everyone else. Parents, students, educators, and politicians all point fingers while the future of education in the US erodes.
  • For the first time in the history of Mankind, a higher percentage of individuals are suffering from obesity than from starvation. What a distressing state of affairs. How can change occur if all the individuals who are obese continue to blame everyone else for their condition? Until each person stops acting like a victim, it can’t.

Will anyone take responsibility?

The poignant message here is that unless you are willing to take personal responsibility, you will NEVER realize your full potential or enjoy a fulfilling life.

Think about someone you know or have seen in the media who constantly blames others for his or her situation! Do you feel empathy or does that person’s mantra irritate you the way it irritates others?

Just this week, my teenage son was frustrated with the results of his last math exam and immediately went into blaming the math teacher for the less-than-desirable outcome. As parents, we jumped on that. “Sorry. You must take responsibility for your own results. Blaming the teacher is not going to improve your situation.” In fact it almost always makes it worse.

What about you and me and our personal relationships? If we blame our partner or friends for the poor condition of our relationship, that suggests we made little or no contribution to the situation and the interactions. It always takes two.

I see it in labor relations where unions and management blame each other. When that mindset exists, little progress is made.

Years ago we had a staff member who always blamed others or the machines for the poor quality of her work. Since she took no responsibility for her part and was not willing to change, we finally had to part ways. A productive work team cannot tolerate such a false attitude of denial.

Before I transformed my health 3 years ago, I blamed my workload and other limitations for my condition. When I finally took responsibility for my wellness, I lost 30 pounds. Now I can run a 10 K race with relative ease.

What about you?

Where are you not taking responsibility for the conditions in your life?

Read and consider the Action Steps below to help you embrace responsibility for your life. You will be pleasantly surprised by the freedom and happiness that will bring you.

Why Aren’t You More Like Me?

I encourage you to read my new book, Why Aren’t You More Like Me?. It will help you establish a positive framework for understanding the impact that your Personal Style and personality have on the people around you.

Ken Keis’ new book Why Aren’t You More Like Me? is a superb analysis of the impact of Personal Style—one of several that impact personality development—and how knowledge and awareness of that style can make a significant difference in the way we live our lives. More than a great read for a general audience, this book is an invaluable reference resource for professionals in the helping professions and for those who use assessments in their work. I intend to use it often in my work as an executive and leadership coach and management consultant.

Dr. Ray Williams
President, Ray Williams Associates
Co-Founder, Success IQ University

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Bestselling Author of The Power of Focus

This Week’s Action Steps

It’s Time to Take Responsibility for Your Life?!

  1. Choose to take full responsibility for your life and everything in it.
  2. Stop blaming others, conditions, politicians, governments, the past, your parents, partner, boss, friends, or family for your current condition or lot in life.
  3. If you always want to be right, you are not taking full responsibility for your situation. Stop this behavior immediatelybut only if you want to be happy.
  4. Identify all the areas in your life where you are blaming others (or things) for your current condition. List them now.
  5. Once you have completed your “Blame and Excuse List,” take responsibility for each item by outlining possible solutions.
  6. Now that you have taken responsibility for your circumstances, whatever they are, list the Action Steps you can take. Describe ways you can change your attitude to improve your condition.
  7. When you are clear in your Action Steps, observe the personal energy and power you experience when you take ownership and become solution-focused vs. being the victim.
  8. To assist you on your journey to taking responsibility on your terms, clarify your values and style through CRG’s Values Preference Indicator (VPI) and the Personal Style Indicator (PSI).
  9. To help you understand your tendencies and to take responsibility for your behavior, read Why Aren’t You More Like Me?
  10. Remember that taking responsibility is not a sign of weakness; it empowers and equips you for success.
  11. Look at the attitudes of your close friends and colleagues on the topic of responsibility. If you are hanging out with individuals who don’t take responsibility (read: Character Disorder), I recommend that you seek new friends. Being around negative people will have a destructive impact on your life.
  12. Implement this process continuously . . . for the rest of your life!
     

Until next time, keep Living On Purpose.


Ken Keis
 
For information on CRG Resources, please visit http://crgleader.com.

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Posted October 14th, 2011 in Living on Purpose |

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